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| why is it that i can never find happiness? i found it once and then lost it. then i find it again for short bursts.. it seems like i'm not going to be happy for a long time and that really makes me sad.. i thought i was happy when this guy i worked with asked me out then i found out he doesnt like to cuddle, he doesnt like to watch movies.. and then i started thinking to myself "why am i with him? im clearly not happy.i thought i would be but.. hes seems like more of a hassle then i orginaly thought.." and then i randomly go out with friends after going to a wedding and run into another co-worker of mine and well what can i say.. i was slightly smitten. i get ditched by the guy i was dating cuz he was too tired to have me come over.. **not the first time hes done that to me and what i have to do to get it so i can hang out with him after he gets off work is... well...hell..** and then i was going to chill at one of my other bosses places then.. he had to go back to work.. so i was left with no place to stay. but back to me being smitten.. i had seen this co-worker maybe three times before last night and well i was in a really flirty mood..and phil my boss asks the "smitten" one if he was single and he goes kat ur single too right..oh yea yea u are.. and next thing i know i am asking if its okay if i go stay at his appartment mainly because i had no where else to go and hes cool with it.. OMG hes really cute.. and very sweet and he likes to cuddle..and we actally watched a movie together... i was so nice to actually be close to someone and being held and seeing the sun rise.. and just enjoying time together with someone.. but i dont know if he was a relationship.. and i'd have to get out of the one i am in now.. which is going to be hell cuz i am like the 2nd girl this guys ever dated.. but idk.. its nice to get this off my chest though.. and if anyone actually read this ...cool? and fuck it if u think i am a whore.. thats what u think.. but i am 18 and i am just trying to live life a little |
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| i cant help but say i am honestly lost.. and i need to get someone lost.. i just cant stand some people that try to get the girl on the rebound.. yea i am not going to lie.. i flirted a lil but sometimes it makes you feel better and now i am fucked because he knows where i work and stops in everyonce in while.. i just cant deal with some of the shit i am going through....i am trying but god damn it i need help sometimes.. i just cant deal with going through the shit i once went through.. and i dont know how to talk to the people i know about it because they're so judgemental.... but i cant do it alone... |
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| what do you honestly do when he says that he just wants to be friends? do you automatically say yes and go on your happy way and ignore your feelings... or do you try to work things out and only get hurt worse? i acutally have to say the mixed messages hurt the most.. he says he wants to be friends then he still calls like hes my boyfriend.... i cant take that shit. its so damn hard to go from 2 years with some one that you loved to just being friends.. i guess i dont know what i did to deserve this. i dont know why i have to deal with this shit right now.. well i have a month before school starts and i guess i can try and get over this before then so i can have fun my senior year. well i am here if you need me.. 350.4048 |
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| why does every one give excuses for everything? Riddle me this |
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